Just thoughts at Christmas...

Greetings and good cheer one and all ~
Today is a cold day here in the Red River Valley, and I'm snuggled in under a warm blanket on the couch with my coffee and the Today show, waiting for Noah to wake up. I have an unexpected day off (most of this week off, it's been wonderful). As I sit here relaxing, and reading many emails and blogs, I am reminded what an amazing time of year Christmas really is!
One realization I had recently, was that this year is my "do over" year. By that, I mean, it was 18 years ago that my life began to unravel, with the sudden and tragic death of my husband. My son, Matt, was just 10 months old, and he and I walked through a horrific journey of loss, confusion, and loneliness as we celebrated Christmas, just the two of us, in our base housing on Guam Naval Base. I was in a state of shock, awe, and disbelief as I rang in his first Christmas, sorting through my own nightmares and the wonderment of the birth of Christ. It was a surreal mix of joy and tragedy, but God brought me through it all.
Fast forward 18 years... that little baby that I held it all together for, is now a fine young man, in his senior year of high school, successful in his own right. And at the same time, I have a new little 10 month old (flashbacks are endless, I have to say), who is such a rich blessing to our family. The polar ends of the spectrum, my youngest and my oldest, are filling my heart to the rim with joy and love this Holiday season. I get to "do over" that baby's-first-Christmas, as Noah is doing all the same things that Matt did so many years ago, during this festive time. The mirror image of one another is uncanny, as they both also get to enjoy their other brother in the middle, Ben.
How is it that through such tragedy and rough beginnings, a woman can find herself so completely blessed and fulfilled by the loving family which surrounds her? Only by God's grace and mercy can this be my good fortune. Thanks be to God, for restoring me after such pain and horrible tragedy. I am humbled by God's mercy, and praise His name for loving me so deeply. God is good, and this definitely is a Merry CHRISTmas for this child of God. I wish you all a Merry CHRISTmas in the most true sense of the greeting. May you find yourself blessed with a "do-over" blessing as well, in whatever form that may come in. This is the day that the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.
Merry CHRISTmas to all, and a Happy New Year (Do-over year) to you too!